May - October

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What can I say? I have travelled through Spring and Summer and now Autumn is coming closer every day.

There has been the most beautiful full moon, during which time I seem to have little need of sleep. I wake very early and catch the world whilst it is sleeping.

I feel constantly peaceful and have little need of other people. Is this a good thing? It seems so to me. I have so many characters inside my imagination from the stories I write, I am never lonely.

I have seen many clear blue skies, listened to innumerable  dawn choruses, sat amongst the sand dunes and watched bees buzzing from flower to flower.

I have taken the colours from around my home this year and painted and made jewellery as is my way.

This year is all about my work.

I have watched the ebb and flow of the tides every day and taken photographs of the changing colours across the river.

I continue to take photographs, though now on my iphone - so much more exciting than my first Box Brownie camera.

I take my images over to RedBubble and make prints on acrylic blocks and canvases and wrap them around very boring white ceramic mugs. This one of compressed cardboard boxes that once contained fruit looks particularly good. I also make cushions there and cards.

Bella was very ill during the summer - she is now 12 and we thought that she was just slowing down as her age increased but no - she had a pyometra - and had 1 and a half kilos of puss and blood removed along with her womb. She was initially misdiagnosed as having arthritis and being excessively fat by the first vet who examined her. The second vet came to her rescue.

She is now like a 5 year old - ready for everything that live has to offer.

Whilst looking after Bella - I found my comfort zone with Jane Austin and Pride and Prejudice.

Sometimes the most inspiring of things show up when walking.

I was asked to make a 3 foot diameter papier mache tray. Traditional methods and hours of work.

 I love my cave of a kitchen.

 And my studio that overlooks the every-day opera of life on the street.

THE GARDEN

I have to take you to a garden.
It is essential that you tell our friends.

I have one lifetime only here.

There is a void and then a vision.
The summer rain is felt as music.

The water and the wind whisper through Eternity, a language that we dream of.

Above the mist, behind the storm, beneath the rain.
Together in a thousand moments.
A delicate symphony of light, like diamonds shine and play.

Shadows fall away. Beauty would be these and death sweet, not sad.

All an elaborate chain of life.
All an elaborate chain of love.

February and March 2016

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February's been a month of blurry hibernation for me this year, mainly curled up in bed, hoping to sleep away this winter's cocktail of viruses that have invaded and taken up their temporary residence. Sleeping for hours with increasing gratitude for time away from feeling ill, occasionally emerging to check the weather, walk Bella if even mildly bright and to make very simple vegetable soup. I lost all appetite for protein, dairy and anything at all sweet and made my way day by day through an extraordinary detoxification process on many levels. 

Still not through the woods yet but no longer being buffeted along without choice, instead I welcome this new me that feels lighter on so many levels. I always see myself as someone who does not get ill and yet I've had my share of serious enough illnesses over the years but in my deep self I'm strong and filled with my own version of joie de vivre apart from the times when I'm filled with anxiety and fear that is a part of all our earthly lives. But those states of mind can be great teachers and I've eventually learnt to calmly look and listen to them more and more. Self examination, a life long and difficult process, mixed with gratitude and joy. 

Now is the time to look forward to new beginnings.

I've become more patient and am now allowing myself the time I need to convalesce, whilst interspersing working from home when I have the energy and ability to concentrate. It's such a pity that the historical practice of viewing convalescence as a distinctly separate and very important stage of recovery has become diminished by the expected goals of our society and it's work ethic. 

I'm all for the work ethic and it's very strong within me but because I've chosen the path of the creative self employed, with all of it's inherent risks and as one who has experienced both wealth and poverty, I'm used to the vagaries, the ups and downs and have learnt to trust and relax more than I used to, so perhaps that helps my equanimity at these times. I usually hunker down at this time of the year and work all the time, knowing that I'll have more than enough work to send to galleries when the spring returns and then I can allow myself the time to be outside more often. Not so this year but I now have a little courtyard garden that is perfect for setting up a worktable outside. It is sheltered by old stone and brick walls and trees of just the right size to create space for birds and dappled

shade for me. It might look something like this -

There is a pergola with a rambling grape vine passing over it on it's way to scramble over the wall that runs along the road, making a safe place to the blackbirds that have been visiting every day and fighting over their territory. I've been putting out bird seed mixed with meal worms every day and it will I hope pay off in the weeks to come when they return. So far there are daily visits from a pair of turtle doves -

a pair of collar doves, robins, various tits - blue, great and coal, wrens, sparrows plus starlings, pigeons and crows. So far no cats. This new garden seems to have had very little done to it since Georgian days when the house was built. Georgian sounds quite grand, it isn't but it is perfect for me as it's reminiscent of my favourite homes - wooden floors, an enormous red Aga, white walls, beams, open fireplace, beautiful windows of just the right proportions and cosy bedrooms. Also a very large square shaped bathroom that is perfect for yoga (an exercise that I vow to restart) and a huge self contained attic that's perfect for guests. And best of all it's a long let so I can relax. 

The stress of the last year did not reveal itself to me until I moved in last winter and then I began to be nervous and experience a string of hard to ignore miseries. I didn't even know that I was stressed until I began to relax. Constant nausea and an acid stomach, constant and inexplicable pains around my rib cage, tiredness, waking up every few minutes through the night, very strange dreams, backache, headaches, aching joints and fear and anxiety. Fortunately the flu seems to have speeded up my recovery. It's acted like a catalyst. I believe that excess body fat is created through nutritionally ill considered diets and too much stress. Fat stores toxins that the daily circadian rhythms have no time to eliminate. It's also believed by some, including me, by my experience, to store emotional trauma. I've never carried much too much body weight but like most women, there was always more of me than I would have liked. I have always had an image of my self as feeling much younger than I look, vitality wise. 

I don't mind getting older at all by the way, in fact I'm rather enjoying the journey and see it as a welcome adventure after that extended and suspended period of time of motherhood when from the moment of my first child's birth, one day seamlessly merged into the next ad infinitum until they eventually flew the nest. I absolutely love being a mother and actually consider it to be by far the best thing that's ever happened to me. I planned for the empty nest time by arranging to travel and base more of my work on those experiences. But the absence of the 'nest' even as a base during my homeless period has I now realise been a huge stress in itself, even though I tried to meet the challenge by gritting my teeth, girding my loins and by sheer determination. 

My original plan was to stay in various places in Europe, adding I imagined an element of adventure but like many phases in life, circumstances dictated that I remained in England. I adapted to being a lodger, simply because it has been impossible to find the right kind of house that will accept a dog and Bella is a member of the family and will not be rehomed. Having my belongings in storage, or various storage places also involved a lot of back breaking energy and stress in actually moving them from A to B - I have a lot of books, again something that I don't envision living without. But eventually I needed to have a place to call home, a place of safety and security, a place to have my things around me, little memories of my family's journey so far. 

I simply cannot imagine a better place to call home than the house that I have now found. It has everything that I need and the town of Topsham is perfect with all amenities close by.

It's also a very beautiful old estuary town that has a fascinating and a very interesting history. It also has it's own railway station, Exeter airport nearby, a mainline railway a few stops away, good parking, lovely walks and is very dog friendly. It is not as alternative as Totnes and it's not yet embraced organic but there are two Waitrose supermarkets within striking distance that will deliver as will Riverford so I am perfectly situated to concentrate on invigorating my business and my health. Not a bad outcome afterall.

DECEMBER '14 + JANUARY + FEBRUARY '15

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The Queenhithe MosaicDown by one of my favourite haunts on the foreshore of the River Thames can now be found a most wonderful mosaic charting over 2000 years of Thames life. Designed by Tessa Hunkin and made by Southbank Mosaics - I have captured it's details, alhithebeit on my i-phone. More than one million tiles cut and layered onto the 30 meter long mosaic, bordered with mudlarked pottery shards, clay pipe stems, shells and fragments of our shared social history, developed by up to 300 volunteers bringing the history of over 2000 years of Thames life to life.

Gathering and Collecting

The Plan

The Work

January 2015

Short days and long nights hunting by moonlight.

Modroc - scrim and Plaster of Paris form for displaying necklaces.

Fizz settling into his new home.

Dartmoor horizons.

Painterly via photoshop tweaking.

February 2015

Boxes from Shepherds - perfect packaging for necklaces.

iphone photos - a little blurry - of tiles - birds from the fireplace surround at Birdwood House Gallery in Totnes - every week a new exhibition of work.

Very large and exuberant paper snowdrops by Heidrun Guest from PaperWorks - a wonderful emporium run by David & Heidrun Guest that is one of if not the most interesting paper shop in the U.K 

Down to the allotment today - the mown grass marks my boundary. The stacked wood is to be used for posts and possibly a shed but most definitely a shelter for Bella who relaxes and watches me work or sunbathes and dreams.

The Lasagna method is working beautifully - all the layers have transformed into an enriched mulch and many of the larger thistles and dandelions appear to have disappeared. Now to plant the roses that have been pot bound since leaving Dartington.

Adding compost from the compost bin.